Welcome back Sports Nation and a happy week 3 to you. I have another brief dispatch of thoughts for the legions of fans that are waiting with baited breath for the next post. It shall not disappoint... probably. You see America, I have been spending my weekends of late camped out on my couch, multi-tasking my way through eating, studying, petting my dog and watching a shit load of football. My exposure to the league this year is veritably unprecedented. Not unprecedented for me, I mean... like, for the earth. Anyways, brace yourself for startling truths that you didn't even know that you were already aware of.
Thought 1: Miami is the universal champion of finding ways to lose. I can't imagine being a Miami fan right now. There is no reason they should be losing. The wild cat formation was such ridiculously good coaching, that every other two bit hack in the league with access to an athletic quarterback decided to steal the idea for this season. But Miami still does it better than anyone else. They have power, size, athleticism, experience and legitimate big names on both sides of the ball. And yet every time they get within the twenty they suddenly forget how to play football. Today, Miami pushes San Diego all over the field on their first drive, right down to the one yard line. Something goes wrong with the exchange on a hand off and the ball gets fumbled through the back of the endzone. And this was only the first of maybe 5-6 critical points of the game where Miami inexplicably forgot the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground. It's amazing. Their the best 0-3 team ever. Except:
Thought 2: The Tennessee Titans are a damn good team. They're stacked on both sides. They've got a running back who's exploding right now. They have veterans all over the field and they just keep running into teams who are just a little bit better than them. I mean there are teams out there like the Browns and the Rams who deserve to be 0-3. They have hit that extra special level of losing where everyone in the secondary takes horrible angles and ends up running into each other, springing huge plays for the other team. You know, the stuff from the highlight reels of the 80s Buccaneers. But the Titans have the sort of roster and staff top to bottom that those teams had before they realized they had drifted off. I honestly hope they end up making the playoffs because if they don't, some bunch of shit-eating morons, looking at you AFC West, is going to be in the playoffs instead of them, and it offends my sense of justice.
Thought3: Daniel Snyder cannot buy himself a championship. Literally. Get it? I love the fact that people like him exist. Nerdy, aggressive little pussies that got beat up in school and then made a shit ton of money and decided to buy a sports team. These little bitches always think that they can finance their way to a championship. Remember the $100 Million Roster? When that dumbass signed the Bruce Willis, Deon Sanders and every other superstar in the league who was on his last legs? Yeah, well now they're paying $100 Million just to Albert Haynesworth (over a number of years, but whatever). And how's that working out? They have one lucky win over the fucking RAMS! That's it. They lost to the Lions of all fucking teams. And Haynesworth got carted off the field with a towel on his head. Not looking good.
Thought 4: A couple of college thoughts now. This Tim Tebow cult thing is getting a little too much for me. A friend of mine posted his status message the other day saying "Does God have a Tim Tebow complex?" Hyperbole, you say? But watching the sports community shit their collective pants when Tebow went down with, granted a serious, but common concussion was over the top. The updates every five to ten coming in while I was watching another game had a panicked feel to them; along the lines of "This just in, Tim Tebow just THREW UP as they were taking him off the field." and cut to the shot of Florida fans looking on as though they were bearing witness to their child being torn apart by a bear. This shit is just nuts. I can't wait for him to go to the NFL so he can be the next Vince Young and never heard from again. Right now he's kind of the defacto leader of yet-to-be-formed cult of bible thumping southerners. Seriously he is God to those people.
Thought 5: America, I am still licking my wounds after watching Iowa come into Beaver Stadium in my original hometown, State College, PA and lay an out and out asskicking on Penn State. I mean, for a highly ranked team looking to beat the hell out of what was supposed to be the mere shell of a team that wasn't that good last year, Penn State got seriously, seriously cleaned up. But the great thing about being a Penn State fan is being able to take shelter in the long view. For most of the other teams in country, you have the urgency of young coaches trying to make their break as the next big thing in college football, driving their kids to win for them. It adds urgency to games especially after a few tough seasons. Not with JoePa. He was a new coach once. Like before all those other coaches were born, literally. And he hails from a different era of college football. He is class itself. Asked all week if this game was about revenge he said, "I don't know what revenge has to do with it. They didn't sneak up on us and stab us in the back. They were a good team and played hard and beat us. That's all". Quite honestly, it would be nice to see other coaches take this sort of view, even though I know they don't have the luxury. The special thing about rooting for Penn State is knowing that you are rooting for a program that is geared towards competing at the highest level, with the utmost class and having goals beyond winning games. It was JoePa's idea (back in like 1965) to funnel money made my the football team back into the university for academic purposes. Penn State is so much more than a backwater agricultural school is because of that football team. When in so many other cases rooting for a program is essentially just a form of insane preoccupation with a random logo, Penn State is more than that. Do I want them to win it all every year? Definitely. Do I hate watching them lose? More than you can imagine. But in the back of my mind I know that there are more important things going on there. And that credit is due to JoePa. And we will lose all of that when he's gone.
Thought 6: Finally a brief shout out to Pizza Hut. There are really only so many things you can do with pizza. I mean, it's only got like 3-4 ingredients. And yet Pizza Hut is there every football season, having pulled a new kind of "specialty" pizza out of their ass. I think the current incarnation involves a ring of cheese baked around the edge of the sauce. It is remarkable only because they came up with a different way of making it for each of the past 20 years in a row. Simply stunning.
No comments:
Post a Comment