So during games on Sunday, the NFL is proudly touting the fact that for the first time in history 3 teams are at 6-0 in week 7. On the surface this seems like a good thing. Like we're approaching some sort of impending battle of the titans at the end of the year. For anyone with even the most basic functional cognition who has been watching these games, you know better.
The trade off for these three 6-0 teams is that there is an entire legion of teams that are so historically shitty - I need to stress how literal I'm being here - they can't even snap the ball. So it's a good thing that Denver, Indianapolis and New Orleans are all undefeated? Tell that to the fans of the Raiders, Browns, Titans, Lions, Bills, Chiefs, Dolphins, Redskins, Panthers, Rams, Bucs and Jaguars. And also mention that to the tens of thousands of fans who get excited for some Sunday football and then find out that the only game on is Bills vs. Browns and the score is 3-3 in the fourth, and it seems to be headed for a tie. Fuck ME!
How did we get here? How have we arrvied at a scenario where with 1/3 of the season over, more than 1/3 of NFL teams are pretty much out of the hunt? A few obvious answers leap to mind: unbelievably shitty owners (Daniel Snyder, Al Davis), profoundly shitty coaches (Dick Juaron, Eric Mangini), record breakingly shitty quarterbacks (Derek Anderson, Demarcus Russell, Jake Delhomme) etc etc. I don't have any answers. I don't know how to fix it, but I do know that it seemed to me, in seasons of yesteryear, that if you flipped on a game of NFL football, you could expect to be reasonably entertained by competative contest between two competent football teams. Now think about what you're getting: If one of these 12 bad teams (12!) teams plays a good team, it's a shitty game. If either of these bad teams plays another bad team, I find myself wondering if it would be more fun to watch or to just sit on the couch and punch myself in the balls for 3 hours. It's that bad. Well no it's not. But you might want to check that TV schedule before you just decide that you'll watch whatever's on during the first NFL timeslot of the day.
- You think Mike Tomlin feels good about himself these days? What the fuck were those gold-rimmed aviators during the Minny game? Every time Pittsburgh did something good, they'd cut to a shot of him wearing those things, head slightly inclined, just striking the pose. I love it. I just became a Mike Tomlin fan. Not a Steelers fan, just a Mike Tomlin fan. If he ends up being a transcendent coach, those glasses will occupy the same place in history as Tom Landry's fedora. And that's something I'd like to see.
- Larry Johnson - You were not made for the digital information page. Please never spit, text, tweet or post or say anything ever again.
- More drama from the San Francisco 49ers never ending carousel of quarterbacks. Is it even possible that both of those guys are so inconsistent? I'm starting to wonder if this isn't the result of some back room arrangement in the 49ers front office to create drama and national media attention for the franchise. If this were Nascar I wouldn't even have to wonder. And hilariously I have to assume that the Redskins, Raiders and Bucs are all sitting around dreaming of having two quarterbacks who could sometimes remember how to throw.
- Jamarcus Russell is the greatest gift to this blog since Tony Romo. I can picture him before every game looking at himself in the mirror and telling himself that today is the day he becomes great. I haven't see someone so oblivious to his own shittiness since Dante Culpepper.
- That's pretty much all for now. I have to go finish excavating my media-proof bunker so I can seek shelter from all the Favre-coming-back-to-Lambeau hype. Seriously, I won't watch Sportscenter for a week. This promises to be the absolute apex of Rachel Nichols (ESPN's senior meaningless bullshit correspondent) career. Fucking Clown Shoes!! I can't support it.
- Also I'm fired up that Vikings lost (we're right on your heels you pussies!!!!) and that the NBA starts this week. Look for the NBA and to make up some ground on the NFL this year. They honestly might have a better product.
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